National Drink Wine Day
Figure A: Bottles of Wine
The sun shines on this fine day, our most beloved national holiday. Literally tens of people all over the world are celebrating National Drink Wine Day, and you can too! It’s easy, all you need is wine (see Figure A) and a wine glass or other drinking vessel (see Figure B,) a mouth, and thumbs (It’s also Thumb Appreciation Day, more on that later.) Really thumbs aren’t necessary, but they’re rather helpful. It’s also possible to drink wine directly from the bottle (gasp!) but only in emergency situations. Now, once you have your wine, drinking vessel, and thumbs, watch a Youtube® video on how to open the bottle, or ask a seasoned wine drinker for help. Please, however tempted you may be, do not use a katana or any other type of sword to open the bottle, as this tends to lead to the loss of aforementioned thumbs. Once the bottle is open, pour gently into your drinking vessel of choice and promptly consume. Repeat as needed. For best results, pair with a delicious meal. This process is not advised prior to or during the operation of a vehicle, heavy machinery, or social media. That’s it! You’ve now successfully celebrated National Drink Wine Day! If you thoroughly enjoy the festivities, stop in and let us know and we’ll show you how you can celebrate this fine holiday anytime you want! Aside from the driving, machinery operating, and Facebooking, of course.
Figure B: Vessels Commonly Used to Consume Wine